Matthew Duy Nguyen. Living was our punishment. For one person to attain happiness, another must equally be cursed with despair. Ever-Present Feeling<> World of Scattering Flowers<> Rain of Ice<> Requiem for the Blind Alchemist<> Traumerei<> Believe me<> Overflowing Love

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Expectations can be applied to pretty much everything. The movie was disappointing because I thought the trailer looked really good. The event wasn't that great even though I was looking forward to it heaps. This person isn't sharing their secrets with me despite the fact that I buy then gifts an try to get on their good side. Expectations about people.

I hate having expectations about people. You'll have favourites, the disliked and others. You'll act more favourably towards those you like and expect the same treatment in return. Referencing to Lucy's post, that isn't kindness if you're expecting benefits. You have high expectations that your ulterior motives are a step closer to being completed. It's seen quite often nowadays and it personally disgusts me. Though if you're just normally kind, your only expectation sits at the person not treating you like trash. But both statements are entirely arguable.

I've gotta run for the train.

My love will not lessen. It is simply that it will grow no more. It would become something eternal and unchanging. It will not flourish, but neither will it die.

Love, once it has appeared, can never be erased. It's not true what they say about excessive love becoming hatred. It's simply that a newly born hatred has surpassed the love cultivated up until that point.

Oh this VN makes me think sometimes.

It's time to try and give up on her again. Back and forth. I need to stop this. I don't want to distract myself with others. But maybe I'm being attracted by my own will.

I've started to exercise again and it feels alright. Legs ache from skipping, but i'll be starting to go gym again. I actually have a big stomach which kind of irks me now. Just need to commit to exercise and it will pay off. Cause right now it's all just skipping.

I want to try crossdressing/crossplaying at least once. Probably with one other person to share the embarrassment. And with makeup you can look like a totally different person. Heaps of makeup. Wat am i thinking. But it might b fun. Or a total disaster. Owell. Dont know till u try.

Majority rules. Your opinion means nothing against much more people who oppose your opinion with their own. Try as you will to back yourself up, but you will be broken. I recall people being executed when they denied that a woman was a witch. They were accused of being under the witch's influence and had to be eliminated for the safety of whatever place they lived in. However, majority is twisted.

For example, the majority of group A says that opinion A is the best. One person however states that opinion B is better. They get slandered, bombarded with arguments and put down. However, that person joins another group and shares his opinion B. Group B agrees with the opinion and even some people from group A who integrated themselves into group B agree as well. Majority rules. People dare not go against what is a "norm" for fear of being rejected and ostracised. This is how society works. People join in on bullying so they themselves will not be bullied.

Is there a way to go against this? The answer is simple, but the means is not. When you and your opinion are being put down, come up with better arguments to back yourself up. The only reason why you are put down is because you simply weren't strong enough to come up with arguments to counter theirs. Two heads are better than one. It's not easy going against a group who can pool their minds to come up with a plethora of arguments, but it isn't possible to win against them.

The moment they try to exclude you from whatever it is, they've lost. You can rub that in. Sweet victory at the cost of whatever it is. Is it worth it? No? Then go with their opinion from the beginning. I don't blame those who go with the majority. It's simply human nature to socialise. And to socialise well, you need not stick out in the open like a splinter. Though there are those who are not afraid to express their opinions and will not back down either due to their cleverness or stubbornness. These are the people who I admire the most. To "rebel" against society. But those who refuse or show no interest in such things have a charm of their own. People who wish to meld in the background.

I used to go to uni once a week. Online courses, tutorials where participation is not necessary, I'm a real slacker. Woke up everyday at around 10-11am and just screwed around all day either gaming or watching anime. Played LoL, Dota 2, any games really. I would study quite rarely but still do my assessments. Sleep at around 1am everyday without a care in the world.

Now I'm currently employed in a full time job contract for one year. Waking up 6:50, getting breakfast and just leaving the house by 7:30 for the train, it was a change. My bedtime was scheduled at 11pm and sleeping for nearly 8 hours actually feels pretty alright. Before I used to just grab breakfast and hop onto the computer, but now I'm actually making an effort to skip in the morning again.

Start early, end early. I get to work around 8:40 and should leave at 4:40. Though my coworker is pretty cool. He comes in at around 9:30 and tries to leave at around 4:30. His knowledge is remarkable though and he doesn't slack off while doing tasks given to him. He's the closest one to my age by 3 years and tells me about his adventures and all. Lunch is around 30mins so I spend the rest of my time sitting down in front of a computer. Travel is slightly longer than travelling to uni, so that's 4 trains. And I get home around 6 usually or 5:30 on a good day. After working, you want to engage in entertainment at home.

So I spend quite a bit of time gaming and try to study at night. It's difficult, I just don't have much drive to study. Don't know how people can pull off a full time job whilst studying 2 subjects. I think I'll stick to one. I appreciate weekends so much more now. And I'm socially depraved. Where art thou friends?

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