matthewnguyen

Flaw - Judgementality

Ive realised another flaw of mine. Nothing wrong with pointing out your flaws is there, as long as you make the effort to ease them out, its all good. The one thing that pisses me off is when a person realises a flaw they have, and dont try to change it when its completely changeable. This flaw of mine is that im too judgemental.

First impressions mean a lot to me. If you dont have the skill and elegance to appear sophisticated and civilised the first time i see you, i will treat you in the manner in which i saw you in. Example, a person demans to know what grade i am for piano and calls me a noob when i answer them as they are higher. I will treat them with utmost disrespect and give them shit whenever i want. I will assume that they are extremely superficial and only care about what is only in front of them, disregarding everything else. Pretty much to be an asshole towards them. And i have done that to a junior called david. He didnt respect me as a fellow musician and so i gave him so much crap. I unfortunately influeced lynnie and kim to dislike him too. Im such a bad person.

Sure they may have disliked him at first, but i dispelled their good thoughts of him by constantly expressing my dislike towards him. However, he apologised for bumping into me once so that nudged him over to my good side. Politeness is a virtue which should be cherished. It determines quite a bit of an individual's character in my opinion. Then today he went up to me while i was practising and said "what grade?" times three. John who is a beast at english and I started going on about how superficial he was and that he is a materialistic person. Then he started to praise me saying that my level of playing was high. Hmm. Damn people complimenting me. I seriously cant get angry if people praise me AND its relevant to the topic. Example of a stupid situation. And he said it was just curiosity which made me feel a tad bad.
Me: What a superficial bastard demanding for my grade
Guy: I like your eyes
Me: You have some serious issues asshole
Good situation
Me: So shallow for asking for my grade
Guy: But your level of playing is really good
Me: (Feeling bad if i say something insulting)

However now, i will treat david as a human being. Next time i meet him il try not to give him shit. He seems like an okay guy. He just doesnt have any damn manners. And he isnt modest too. People favour the modest. Usually anyway with the statement: What's the point of being good at [insert field] if you can't show it off? The answer? Modesty makes your excellence become inflated. Im just decent at piano but due to me playing now and again, people think im good, but im not LOL

A small diary post. Lunch was awesome with music room. Talked with howard and we both praised each other for our talents in music. He seems like a nice guy, just a pimp. Jenny who i have talked to for the first time even though both of us were here in year 7 complimented me by saying: "You finished grade 8 yeah?" Haha. I told her i kinda sucked and she told me she was in grade 6. I gave her a really good compliment and she seemed happy haha. Its nice to receive and give out compliments, but too much of them will make one forget the value they carry. But thats for another time.